Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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