I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
