I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
