escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
