I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
it was like eating out sand paper
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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