Where did you get a picture of my penis
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
