Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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