You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
