Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
