Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize