in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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