@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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