even my farts smell like vagina
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
