Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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