and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
