Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
