oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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