I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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