She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
