I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
