She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
