Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
