HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
