coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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