Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize