Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
