I love black thongs
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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