my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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