your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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