What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
