I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
