He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
