so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
