Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
