The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
