Im at strip club and am horny
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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