just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
