Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
