You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize