our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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