I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
