we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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