I'm going to jail i love you
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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