But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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