Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Welp...herpes.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
