He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
