so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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