craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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