they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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