I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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