He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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