i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
