he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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