Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
