Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So gin and wine won't be happening again
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Drunk is a universal language darling
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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