Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
