census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
